Tomorrow is my 61st birthday and my husband keeps teasing that I am the oldest woman he has ever slept with. Such a kidder I thought as I spiked his coffee with prune juice.
And yet age is just a number, right?
I’m still pursuing my passions. Still working out and paying respects to the merciless jailer, Mr. Scale. Still putting more into a day than some do in a week. Though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t keeping my eye out for the finish line.
Will the day come when I can pop a chill pill called Damnitall and not panic that I want the bread basket for dinner?
Maybe not. Our favorite supermodel, Christie Brinkley, just wrote a new book called Timeless Beauty, about why women must NEVER give up on their appearance. Ugh. She’s 61 like me and still looks like a cheerleader from the back (not to mention a MILF from the front). It’s tempting, of course, to ask how does she do it because the dream of looking ageless dies hard.
Then again, if I were to commit to her eating and exercise regimen, would it help me find a parking spot in midtown Manhattan? Achieve literary stardom? Actually stop the clock?
Sorry, Christie. Though you are adorable, unless your book comes bundled with your bank account and your gene pool, there is little hope for most women our age to look like you. That’s why we connect more Oprah. She’s smart, successful, charitable and has managed to stay a powerful force in a world that bores easily. And so what if she tips the scale? There’s just more to love.
Oh wait. For her 61st birthday, Oprah bought herself a big slice of the
Weight Watchers pie and is now drinking their corporate Kool-Aid (sugar free, of course). The message? No matter how accomplished a woman is, she matters not unless she’s also a head turner. So basically the woman who is universally beloved for her inspiring work, the woman who single- handedly built the largest media empire, still yearns to be small.
Even the defiant Princess Leah has bit the fat-free bullet. Though Carrie Fisher tweeted her annoyance at being judged about how well she did or didn’t age, she lost thirty pounds to reprise her role in Star Wars. Even strutted in a bathing suit as if she was cast in a beauty pageant instead of a film.
I have decided that I must be doing something right if my husband of thirty-eight years tells me I’m more beautiful today than when we met.
If my doctor says he wishes more of his patients worked as hard as me to keep my weight and diabetes in check.
If my 8-year-old grandson greets me with a huge smile and a hundred more questions about the world.
If my children treat me like a hero and gladly share their lives with me.
If my writing colleagues continue to cheer me on because they so believe in my work…
If I can look in the mirror and wink.
So Oprah and Christie, I wish you well on your never ending journey to wear skinny jeans. But hint: they come in size 12, too. As for my birthday, you may wonder if I’m having cake. Hell, yes. I’m Saralee and I approve this message.